To raise self-motivated kids, parents need to encourage their children to pursue their own interests and passions. Providing too many external rewards or constant direction can backfire by reducing a child’s internal motivation. Kids who develop self-motivation will grow into passionate adults who boldly pursue their dreams and overcome obstacles with determination.

As parents, we need to give kids opportunities to explore their interests, make choices, set goals and build resilience. Here are some tips to help build self-motivation in kids:

• Allow them to explore their interests: Expose your kids to new interests and activities to help them discover their passions. For example, take them to science museums, art studios or music camps. Sign them up for free trials of different sports or clubs to find what they enjoy. Have compassion for their journey of self-discovery.
• Offer choices when possible: Let your child choose between two options whenever you can, such as picking a park to visit or choosing which book to read. Give them options for chores and tasks, and let them make simple decisions about meals or activities. Making choices helps build their motivation and independence. Provide more courageous options as they get older.
• Encourage courageous goal-setting: Help your child set brave but achievable goals, like practicing an instrument for 15 minutes a day or reading one chapter of a book each night. Check-in on their progress and praise their efforts. Break down big goals into manageable steps. Goal-setting helps kids build determination and a growth mindset. Call on them to push outside their comfort zone and achieve more.
• Minimize external rewards: While occasional rewards have their place, too much focus on prizes, treats or bribes can reduce internal motivation. Instead, praise your child for their brave efforts and achievements. Help them appreciate the satisfaction that comes from reaching a goal or milestone. Encourage them to evaluate their own progress and make adjustments with self-compassion.
• Model courageous self-motivation: Share your interests, goals and efforts with your kids. Let them see you engaging in continuous learning or pursuing a hobby. Talk about what motivates you and the satisfaction you gain from pushing yourself. Your example will motivate them to work hard and persevere to achieve mastery. Call on them to step out of their comfort zone, as you do.
• Foster optimism and resilience: Help your child develop an optimistic mindset and the ability to bounce back from failures or setbacks with courage and compassion. Teach them to view obstacles as temporary. Praise their brave attempts and encourage them to try again. Remind them that they can achieve more with continuous hard work and perseverance. An optimistic and resilient mindset builds motivation and grit for the long-term.

To raise self-motivated kids, give them opportunities to explore, make choices and set goals. Be their role model, cheer them on and help them build optimism and resilience. With your courage and compassion, they’ll grow into determined, passionate adults who achieve amazing things.